“i don’t want to look sloppy, because then i feel sloppy.” // k. lagerfeld

i remember spilling grape juice down the front of my dress. i was 5 – and it made perfect sense for me to carefully take it off, fold it up, and hide it in a very large, decorative vase.

being messy wasn’t really a thing i was able to do as a kid. my mum had so many irons in the fire, that i think we took on the challenge of being as neat as we could possibly be. when we failed on that front, it was a little hard to admit.

my mother found the dress obviously. many questions followed.

i’m not certain, but i feel like all the tidiness in my childhood led me to this caramel centre of needing to be surrounded by straight lines and geometry, but be suitably comfortable at all times. not sloppy, (by my estimation?), but never wrenched and arched, and never cinched. i don’t wear heels, i refuse most anything with more than a hint of structure; my hair hurts after a day spent in a high, tight ponytail.

no, i don’t want to look sloppy, yet i do want to feel free of being vexed by my own wardrobe. that’s a simple enough request, no?






kaelen➝ source : new eyes printed modal scarf via kenzo

➝ source : sacai oversized pleated shirt via selfridges

➝ source : dot culottes via labout of love

➝ source : lasercut overlap dress via kaelen


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